Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Falling Down The Rabbit Hole.....Anyone Have A Pill?

This weekend was exhausting for me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now don't get me wrong about the level of fun because I had more fun than I have had in a VERY long time.

Since Fernando couldn't go it was just Cesar and I who headed out to Houston. The drive down was really good....traffic was very light and the weather was beautiful. We got the hotel and checked in around 9:00 and spent about 1 1/2 hours just relaxing before getting beautified and heading out. As is always the case this wasn't without some adventure!

We were lost for a considerable amount of time. I don't know what part of Houston we were in (apparently it's called The Heights) and after almost an hour (I think) we stopped at a gas station and asked for directions. We eventually made it to our destination in one piece. I think Cesar was a little on the tired side and I was on the nervous I-want-to-throw-up side because of who I was going to be seeing. When I did see him I can't explain what went through me. It was like someone turned on the emotion valve and I began to overflow. I was praying that I would be able to compose myself and be relaxed. I'm not even sure how good of a job I did.

Cesar did make a threat on Saturday night.....either I get everything out or he was going to do it for me! So I did exactly what Cesar said to do on Sunday. Things came out of my mouth that I didn't think I had the guts to say and now I'm a train wreck. I know that I am such a stubborn person and always want some sort of control over any situation that I'm in but now I feel more vulnerable than I have ever felt.....and I don't like it. I tore down my wall and let my true feelings and colors be seen. Even though what I said was said to me in return and that made me ecstatic, I feel shredded inside. I've heard people use the word "heartache" and I completely understand now what they mean now.

I'm sitting here at work and cannot concentrate. My mind is racing at 1000 mph and I want to be able to slam on the brakes....but I can't. Part of me wants someone to tell me I'm being completely irrational and to bring me down a level or two. I'm trying really hard to keep myself occupied because I know that if I don't and allow myself to sit here and think I'll lose it and start crying. In fact, I did this morning. I became overpowered by a wave of emotion and as hard as I tried to stop it I couldn't. It wasn't one of those annoying sobbing cries either.....they just started falling from my eyes like rain.

I wish I could be a hard person and be able to shut my emotions off whenever I feel like it....but I can't. I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it and move on to the next stage in this development.....wherever it takes me I don't know.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Latinos Stand Up!

That's the name of a song. I just heard this utterly ridiculous thing on the radio. It was on 106.7 CASA....."Where Latino's live!"

I hate that station's promo.

I did hear another song I like though....."Tu Quieres Duro". That song is cool.

Monday, May 23, 2005


I almost died last week. Ok maybe I'm being a bit overdramatic, but I was seriously ill. I came down with the worst case of strep throat I've ever had. I don't know where I got it from (actually I have a hunch but won't reveal my source!) and I was out from work until Thursday.

To make matters worse I didn't get to eat until Thursday night.....that's almost 5 full days without food! I swear tears started streaming down my face once I was finally able to eat. It tasted so friggin' good!!!!

I'm just glad that I didn't get sick this week because I'm going out of town with Cesar. Unfortunately the rest of our party who were going to go can't now. So now Cesar and I are trying our hardest to find someone we can tolerate for 3 whole days to go with us. Turns out this is a harder task than I had imagined.

On a totally unrelated note, I got a pleasant surprise in that I get to see Dorrell!!!! He called to let me know that he's going to be in Texas for 2 weeks and it just so happens that I will be in the same city during that time.

In sadder news, Wonderwoman will be leaving next week. She's moving back to California. I don't want her to go but it's the best thing right now. Hopefully she won't be gone long as the forces of evil are bound to regroup.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Our Heats Will Ever Faithful Be To Dear Old Goddard High

That is the last line in the Alma Mater of my high school.

So my 10 year high school reunion is this summer and it hit me how fast time has gone by. I don't feel old or anything (I do still get carded almost everywhere I go) but I can't believe how fast these past 10 friggin' years have gone by! I did look at the RSVP list and so far none of the ones who everyone thought were going to be successful (i.e. the popular crowd) have said they are going. I wonder why this is.....

I got the email notifying me of this unfortunate event. I call it unfortunate because I really don't care! The people I went to high school with that I still care about are still friends of mine. The others I could care less if I see again. Now don't get me wrong, if by some odd occurance I were to run into one of them I'd say high and play "catch up" for all of 10 minutes or so. But other than that it's of no significance to me. Hmmm.....now that I re-read this do I sound a little bit bitter??

Does anyone REALLY care about going to their high school reunion?

Monday, May 02, 2005

Going, Going, Gone!

Neiman Marcus
Originally uploaded by Hornedfrog77.

In some interesting business news today, Neiman Marcus was sold to 2 private investment firms for $5.1 billion dollars. Not million.....billion! It's a sin to have this much money!

I say share the wealth damnit!